Author: Mark

I’ve been getting home later than I’d like the last few days — which has meant that J cooks dinner while A eats. So by the time we sit down to eat, he’s done. The last 2 nights, so that J could actually enjoy dinner, I’ve taken the restless one into his room to work off some of his energy before his bath and bed. Since he’s close to sleep he’s often delirious with laughter. Last night he walked back and forth across his room giggling any time I said “gonna getcha”. He clutched his little mini beach ball and would fake giving it to me only to pull it back and giggle. That sound and his unbridled joy is such a wonderful thing.

Matt Pryor was in the Get Up Kids (among other bands) and I just came across him podcast, Nothing to Write Home About. It’s really engaging — I’ve torn through ~ 6 hours of episodes in a day and half — mostly because he’s a great host in the mold of Terry Gross, et al., who guides the discussion with great, but infrequent questions. It really is more like an extended conversation between friends than an interview. I also love there’s a lot of interesting discussion about work — whether it’s tour managing, running a print shop, booking shows or being a touring musician.

I put together a pretty good trade in my H2H fantasy basketball league. This one was pretty quick and easy. I labored over a few iterations but ultimately the 1st offer I made was accepted by Webskins:

GC trade Daniel Gibson, Stephen Jackson, TTTF #1 pick (~#20)
Webskins trade Lavoy Allen, Jodie Meeks, Webskins #2 pick (~#23), GC #2 pick (~28)

Meeks and Gibson are pretty similar guys — though Meeks is actually playing and is a couple years younger. I was pretty close to waiving Jackson for Bernard James, so moving him for Allen (who’s similar but further along developmentally than James) and my 2nd rounder back for the cost of moving down ~4 spots seems like an very solid get.

Fresh on the heels of his first birthday, Avett started school this morning. J had been going with him for a few hours a day last week to get him settled. Today we went in together. Avett couldn’t wait to get into all the toys and books and play with the other kids. I had expected J to be a little sad, but I have to admit that I got a little misty watching him walk away to play with the kids.

That night — with A going to bed at 7:30 — we launched into the 4th season of Breaking Bad. I had talked a little with my brother about it, since he and Diane had torn through seasons 1-5 over winter break, but had also forgotten how delightfully put together show it is.

To thank Janeen for everything awesome she did for Avett’s birthday, I took her (and lil’ cranker) to Angelette’s for breakfast. We both had our usual — Eggs a la Duane for her, Shrimp & Grits for me. After breakfast we went to the Southwood playground and had fun watching A waddle around, squeal and wear himself out. Then we all went home and had a family nap.

Our little boy turned one today. We had a small group of friends and family over for a birthday party. A was most excited about climbing up and down the steps and playing with the balloons. It was great to catch up with Rachel & Floyd too. Their little boy Luke is getting so big and cuddly.

Feeling completely overwhelmed in my work life led me to think about time, balance, needs, priorities. Reading what others think about the intersection of these things helps clear the mental clutter — or at least gives the illusion of it.

I settled recently on that there are too many content streams and that it was completely overwhelming me. Instead of trying to do more, read more, understand more (breadth), I’m switching to try and focus on the few things that are most important (depth).

I quit Twitter, not that I was particularly active on it, but I would check it every so often and feel like I had read through everything — or at the very least scan to see if i missed anything.

So it’s with some personal interest that I read Adam Brault’s article “I quit Twitter for a month and it completely changed my thinking about mostly everything.”

I used to believe that time was the most important thing I have, but I’ve come to believe differently. The single most valuable resource I have is uninterrupted thought.

That’s how everything I’ve ever felt was meaningful about my entire life came to be—either people I’ve come to know, things I’ve learned, or stuff I’ve created.

I’ve realized how Twitter has made me break up my thoughts into tiny, incomplete, pieces—lots of hanging ideas, lots of incomplete relationships, punctuated by all manner of hanging threads and half-forked paths. I am perfectly fine with unfinished work—in fact, I doubt I’ll ever be a better finisher than I am a starter. But I’ve found that my greatest joy, deepest peace, and most valuable contributions come from intentionally choosing where to let my focus rest.

I’ve felt more and more that either an exodus from Facebook — or a fantastically radical pruning of the folks I follow/friend — is in the offing too.

I was emailing a friend and was saying that our move to Tallahassee was good, but that it also felt different. Life has changed — at first not by choice, but by location and opportunity (being in a new city largely without close friends or commitments AND with a newborn baby). But with that shift, that change I think I allowed myself to consider the possibility of a fundamental shift in looking at life, about the future.

A big part of it is A coming along. And the rest of it is, as with everything, a work-in-progress and an exercise in balance and understanding. But this from zenhabits crystalizes some of the key shift:

It might seem smart and productive to not let a single minute go to waste (they’re precious, after all), but let’s take a step back to look at the big picture.

Is this what our lives are to be? A non-stop stream of productive tasks? A life-long work day? A computer program optimized for productivity and efficiency? A cog in a machine?

What about joy? What about the sensory pleasure of lying in the grass with the sun shining on our closed eyes? What about the beauty of a nap while on the train? How about reading a novel for the sheer exhilaration of it, not to better yourself? What about spending time with someone for the love of being with someone, of making a genuine human connection that is unencumbered by productive purpose, unburdened by goals.

What about freedom? Freedom from being tied to a job, from having to improve yourself every single minute, from the dreariness of neverending work?

These are things I’ve not come to terms with, but the thinking of them and the being present with the thoughts allows for a change of arc. A degree? 45? 180? The amount isn’t determined fully yet. But it is changed. That I know.

On vantage points

So today, on my first father’s day as a father, since I’m away from my family I decided to start work on my inaugural XTH Annual Review. I started by doing some reading on how other folks set goals, track them, review their work, etc.

I’m very good at selling myself short and/or underestimating what I can or have done. In that light, it’s interesting (odd even?) to see read some people’s goals/life bucket lists, etc., and realize they are things I’ve done and probably take for granted.

One of Sean’s goals is “Donate more than $1,000 to an important cause.” I currently give $1,000/yr to three different important causes (ACLP, national health care and women’s liberation). Maybe some would quibble on how important those are, but…

The point isn’t to look down on what anyone else sets out to accomplish, but to change how I look at the things I’ve done. I’m gonna try and incorporate that into this first XAR.

I almost stumbled today, told myself I only had 1 more day on the 30 day challenge and so if i had a Coke (they were out of sweet tea, which I know isn’t THAT much better) it would be close enough.

But i waited, I drank some unsweet tea, then some sweet tea and felt really good that i’d not back slid.

Next month it won’t be as easy — especially during lunch if I can’t get lemon — but I was really good at not drinking Cokes this month, so I’m hoping to build on that progress.